Before I became a mother, there were so many things that I never had thought about before. Having a baby opened my eyes to a lot of things that weren’t even on my radar for 31 years prior.

1. How I wish I would have been a better friend when my friends/relatives became moms

I was clueless and explicitly apologized to them for not showing up more, cleaning their apartment, bringing home-cooked meals, etc. There were so many things I could have done, but I just had not realized what it took to be a mom at that point. It feels rough to be the one who didn’t act right, especially because I hate disappointing people, but it taught me one of the greatest lessons of my life.

2. When you become a mom, everyone will tell you how to take care of your baby

Yes, EVERYONE! Even strangers on the street (especially older women). ”Are you breastfeeding? Good because it’s what’s best for your baby”, ”You need to put socks on your baby’s feet!” (even if it’s 82 degrees and she is sweating like a pig…) ”Your baby needs a hat” (when you’re literally in the parking lot and your car is 50 meters away and damn it, you forgot the hat at home and feel bad already), ”You shouldn’t pick her up, she should be able to be without you without seeing you for 20 minutes by now” says a mother who has three children and barely any relations with them…

Get ready for everyone around you to judge you and make sure you feel inadequate (which you already do if you’re a first-time mom with no help)!

3. Babies have the weirdest conditions

I can’t count the number of Google searches I have done in the last 6 months to understand what my baby was going through. Stork bite, cradle cap, butt cheek marks, white tongue, bumpy breast, squinting eyes, etc. I spent hours worrying about my baby and hours researching if she was a normal baby… That’s when the precious village would have come in handy! Luckily, most of these conditions are benign and will disappear with time.

4. Newborns don’t smell that good

Ok so don’t get me wrong. My baby now smells amazing. However, as a newborn, she smelled like nothing on a good day. On other days, she would smell like baby vomit, milk, or poop. It was still the cutest smell though.

5. Babies nails grow too fast to keep up

And they are super difficult to cut or file. My baby’s were at least. They say ”Do it when they’re asleep!” but my baby woke up, even if she was in deep sleep. And when she’s awake, she won’t stop moving! So I end up filing her nails every other day and hope she doesn’t scratch herself in the meantime (which has happened unfortunately). My best tip is something I tried this week: clip your baby’s nails when they are relaxed, right after their bath so that their nails are easier to cut.

6. Being a mom is a workout

Rocking, bouncing, and holding your baby all day (sometimes all night…or at least a part of it) is hard on the arms, the back, and even the legs.

7. Daytime sleep is a hassle too

Although I didn’t look into nighttime sleep before becoming a mom, I knew that my sleep would be disrupted. One thing I never expected was how much daytime sleep would rule the day and how hard it could be. Depending on the age and phase, my baby will take naps more or less easily and will sleep for short or long naps making it hard to make plans because unless your baby is on a strict schedule, you don’t know when they are going to wake up, so you don’t know when they’ll need to sleep again so how do you make plans anyway? I have seen friends a couple of times outside of my home since giving birth and it always ends with a baby who should have been asleep earlier and needs a nap ASAP. We also go to church every Sunday morning and for the first few months, her wake windows were so short that she would end up falling asleep during the service and then it would become loud so she would wake up and feel stressed out and overtired. When my baby is overtired, she can become fussy (like adults right?) and have a harder time falling asleep. So most times, I’d just rather be home and make sure she takes her naps. We’d go for a walk around town during her wake windows and make sure to be home when she needed to sleep. I guess most parents I know have their babies in daycare very soon so daytime sleep is only on their mind on the weekend but as a SAHM, it’s a daily thing.